so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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