I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
