Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Your cock deserves a montage
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
