The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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