Kiss
Puke
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
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