You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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