I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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