I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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