Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
