hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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