She went from zero to smokin in five shots
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
There's even glitter on my cock...
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
