i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
