The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
