i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
