why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
