I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
