You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
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