Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
