He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
