wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
