he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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