We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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