Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Someone signed my nipple.
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