My first STD was from a foam party
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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