just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
