she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
