i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
you inspire me to be a worse person
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
