Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
