the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
