Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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