I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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