I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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