so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
