Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
