Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
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