why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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