Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize