Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Even my vagina gasped.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Randomize