i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
My bed smells like the plague
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
wow bdsm is so cute
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
