i jhust puked up my retainher.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
