I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
