I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
