living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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