no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
