Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
