talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
