we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
