gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
