I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
