I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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