what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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