wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
