I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
