My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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