Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize