I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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