i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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