Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
