why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
