that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
