Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
