I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
