no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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