He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
