How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
