Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Randomize
