We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize