i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
