dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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