you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
