i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize