yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Randomize
