I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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